The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
