I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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