Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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