He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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