i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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