I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize