Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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