the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
