it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
