you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
