Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize