Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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