Non-Jews are for practice
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like eating out sand paper
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
