it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize