he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
