I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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