I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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