I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
