He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
