That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
