ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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