Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want to make out with him forever
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
