I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
