so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
