Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
