I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
