I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
