is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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