i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
