Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
