I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
