On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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