she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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