Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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