I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
