I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
