Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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