i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
