she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
