Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
