She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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