absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
