At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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