Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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