There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize