Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
