hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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