I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
