She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
