Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
