I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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