was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize