porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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