im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
did i just pee glitter
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
