Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize