You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
