went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
