I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
a search helicopter?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
