I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
