This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
