he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
