found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How does one acquire holy water?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
