Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
