Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
