and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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