OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize